Friday, May 17, 2013

26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia


26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia

When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more bad-ass than the average person’s.

1. Vicious koala attacks.

26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia

2. Thieving kangaroos.

Thieving kangaroos.

3. Alligators attacking helicopters. (Totally normal.)

Alligators attacking helicopters. (Totally normal.)

4. Spiders. Everywhere you look is spiders. It’s all spiders.

Spiders. Everywhere you look is spiders. It's all spiders.

5. Wallabies playing with a rolls of toilet paper like cats.

Wallabies playing with a rolls of toilet paper like cats.

6. Your favorite grocery stores getting sassy.

Your favorite grocery stores getting sassy.

7. The census takers too.

The census takers too.

8. Oh, and the police departments.

Oh, and the police departments.

9. Visits from Australia’s most majestic animal, the emu.

Visits from Australia's most majestic animal, the emu.

10. So elegant. No wonder they put it on the Australia’s official crest.

So elegant. No wonder they put it on the Australia's official crest.

11. Everyone swearing all the time. (Even the trains.)

Everyone swearing all the time. (Even the trains.)

12. An elderly population that doesn’t fuck around.

An elderly population that doesn't fuck around.

13. Newspaper articles about cows photobombing horses stuck in a fences.

Newspaper articles about cows photobombing horses stuck in a fences.

14. Nightmare koalas waiting for you in your garage, presumably to consume you.

Nightmare koalas waiting for you in your garage, presumably to consume you.

15. Sperm donor sites that know what’s up.

Sperm donor sites that know what's up.

16. Wild dingoes killing and eating sharks on the beaches.

Wild dingoes killing and eating sharks on the beaches.

17. Stormtroopers unicycling in the rain.

Stormtroopers unicycling in the rain.

18. Men named Jack Mehoff. (Say it slowly.)

Men named Jack Mehoff. (Say it slowly.)

19. The worst vegetarian restaurants.

The worst vegetarian restaurants.

20. Kangaroos lounging on pristine beaches.

Kangaroos lounging on pristine beaches.

21. Well-coordinated renditions of The Simpsons in the opinion pages.

Well-coordinated renditions of The Simpsons in the opinion pages.

22. Attacks from whatever the hell that thing is.

Attacks from whatever the hell that thing is.

23. Not visits from the pope, apparently.

Not visits from the pope, apparently.

24. Fishermen using sharks as bait to catch even bigger sharks.

Fishermen using sharks as bait to catch even bigger sharks.

25. Crime so bad that even the prostitutes are getting out of town.

Crime so bad that even the prostitutes are getting out of town.

26. Swooping kookaburras… which sounds funny, until you see how giant a kookaburra’s beak is.

Swooping kookaburras... which sounds funny, until you see how giant a kookaburra's beak is.


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